[ he doesn't know. but what he does know is that - looking at this, he really, really misses cordelia.
she pats rondo on the chest happily, and he puffs himself up a little bit, and the two ravus siblings turn, and walk down the hallway - and then just disappear. ]
No, not really. [ ehe... ] But... eventually, if things here settle down and things at home do as well, I hope she will come see me if I am chosen to be the next Flameguard after all.
[ there's apparently a nomination process which Ok I GUESS ]
...Well, I got the Flame, but... the Order could still say that I shouldn't hold the position. [ ... ] I'm not honestly sure if I should hold it, either...
There's that, too. I'm not sure if I actually survived it or not.
[ at least he sounds a little less :stressed: about that bt he does set a hand on his heart and looks back at cloud for a long second as he considers the question. ]
...It is. Strength and willpower, and...the ability to remain steadfast to the path of the Flame no matter what. It's always been about strength, for me.
I - [ well its effective because like, immediately, with all the resolve in the world - ] No, of course I'm not!
[ don't conflate those two things!!! ]
I would never just give up. I just - [ complicated!!! emotions!!! he does not yell again, but he bites his lip. ]
I swore I would walk the path no matter what, and I've never strayed from it, but - is there any room for growth, in a position where you are the guardian of the continent...? What if something happened to Orsterra because I was not strong enough to defend it...?
[ well rondo yelling is better than rondo being insecure even if he is still insecure. haha, winning. ]
Growth depends on yourself, not what your job is. [ though he could argue defending a continent repeatedly does lend itself to growth depending on how. many things you fight, but This Isn't About That. ] If you don't think you're strong enough now, what's stopping you from getting stronger?
... I've always tried to be stronger, my whole life. And - I'm not going to stop, anytime soon. So long as I'm weak, nothing I hold dear is safe, after all.
[ he looks like he's going to say something else, but stops himself, shaking his head. it's just never quite enough, is the problem. ]
[ i hope you're ready for the most "sisi character drag" story in the entire world. ]
... Sir Sazantos told me when I first met him that I had the makings of the Flame, in me. And then...
[ ... ]
In order to wield the Flame, if you aren't born with it, you have to pass a trial. When I accepted the trial, I awoke in a strange place with the Ringbearer, and Aelfric spoke to me and said if I wanted the Flame, I had to kill the Ringbearer. When I refused, He said that I lacked resolve, and... had the Flame take over my body - and forced me to attack the Ringbearer with it. I couldn't fight it off, for a long time, and I hurt them.
[ there's another pause, there. sometimes you have possession trauma ]
...but... I told Him that if killing my friend was the only way to get the Flame, then I didn't want it. Even though the world needed a Flameguard, and even though I'd been trying to be strong enough to wield it my entire life... to me, the power wasn't worth the life of someone else. I couldn't kill someone so dear to me to further my own ambition.
And right after I said so, I was able to summon the Flame myself and eliminate the forces that were controlling my body. It was the first time I ever wielded it. And...when I came out of the trial, Sir Sonzon said that the Flame responded to my willpower. That was just a little while before I came here.
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... We might as well... follow? I guess? I'm sure where they're going...
[ and also he would love to see his sister. ]
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[ it's monday so it won't but can you imagine. cloud will let rondo lead the way and follow the? sibling ghosts? sure ]
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sure he will lead the way. they don't go very far! they just stop down the hallway. cordelia starts to adjust rondo's lapels, fussing over him.
You don't have to be nervous, big brother. You're going to do great. You're Lord Ravus.
Right... says the rich boy poncy rondo.
the actual rondo watches this with a complicated look on his face. ] This is so... odd.
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Didn't you give up your title? What is this?
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[ he doesn't know. but what he does know is that - looking at this, he really, really misses cordelia.
she pats rondo on the chest happily, and he puffs himself up a little bit, and the two ravus siblings turn, and walk down the hallway - and then just disappear. ]
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... Whatever it is, looks like it's over. You good?
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[ his gaze tracks after cordelia a minute longer, and then he laughs a little and shakes his head. ]
Goodness, I miss her.
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[ it's a little curious since he is like pretending to not be related to her or whatever ]
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[ mumbles in time because square enix doesnt know how to make a timeline ]
We write each other often, but... things have been busy. [ and now he's here! and dead! ]
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Right. Guess visiting isn't much of an option. [ he's here and dead but he'll get better it's fine godddd ]
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No, not really. [ ehe... ] But... eventually, if things here settle down and things at home do as well, I hope she will come see me if I am chosen to be the next Flameguard after all.
[ there's apparently a nomination process which Ok I GUESS ]
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[ THE NOMINATION PROCESS FOR BEING POPE..... "its not pope" POPE ]
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...Well, I got the Flame, but... the Order could still say that I shouldn't hold the position. [ ... ] I'm not honestly sure if I should hold it, either...
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What, you think there's someone else better qualified?
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…I’m sure there are others who would be. [ also no one is sazantos ]
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What's bringing this on all of a sudden? You seemed pretty proud to have been chosen by it before.
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...I was! Of course, of course I was, I just... don't have it anymore. I wasn't strong enough to stop Sir Sazantos from taking it, and...
[ and also something something got murdered something insecurity ] ...I've just been thinking about it, is all.
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[ first of all [hardass voice] but he looks at rondo ]
Is being chosen by that thing about strength? You never really said.
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There's that, too. I'm not sure if I actually survived it or not.
[ at least he sounds a little less :stressed: about that bt he does set a hand on his heart and looks back at cloud for a long second as he considers the question. ]
...It is. Strength and willpower, and...the ability to remain steadfast to the path of the Flame no matter what. It's always been about strength, for me.
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The path of the flame, huh. [ cloud your capitals!! ] Maybe you're right about not being strong enough for it if you're giving up.
[ cloud is this the time for tough love/asshole ]
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[ don't conflate those two things!!! ]
I would never just give up. I just - [ complicated!!! emotions!!! he does not yell again, but he bites his lip. ]
I swore I would walk the path no matter what, and I've never strayed from it, but - is there any room for growth, in a position where you are the guardian of the continent...? What if something happened to Orsterra because I was not strong enough to defend it...?
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Growth depends on yourself, not what your job is. [ though he could argue defending a continent repeatedly does lend itself to growth depending on how. many things you fight, but This Isn't About That. ] If you don't think you're strong enough now, what's stopping you from getting stronger?
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[ he looks like he's going to say something else, but stops himself, shaking his head. it's just never quite enough, is the problem. ]
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... Why do you think the flame chose you in the first place?
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... Sir Sazantos told me when I first met him that I had the makings of the Flame, in me. And then...
[ ... ]
In order to wield the Flame, if you aren't born with it, you have to pass a trial. When I accepted the trial, I awoke in a strange place with the Ringbearer, and Aelfric spoke to me and said if I wanted the Flame, I had to kill the Ringbearer. When I refused, He said that I lacked resolve, and... had the Flame take over my body - and forced me to attack the Ringbearer with it. I couldn't fight it off, for a long time, and I hurt them.
[ there's another pause, there. sometimes you have possession trauma ]
...but... I told Him that if killing my friend was the only way to get the Flame, then I didn't want it. Even though the world needed a Flameguard, and even though I'd been trying to be strong enough to wield it my entire life... to me, the power wasn't worth the life of someone else. I couldn't kill someone so dear to me to further my own ambition.
And right after I said so, I was able to summon the Flame myself and eliminate the forces that were controlling my body. It was the first time I ever wielded it. And...when I came out of the trial, Sir Sonzon said that the Flame responded to my willpower. That was just a little while before I came here.
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