mygod | pc catchall | astarion

[flameguard]

the internet is rife with astarion memes

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[flameguard]

I don't, either.

[ he's not trying to paint a super rosy picture, but it does come off that way... protag disease. ]

But... I think there's something to be said for the fact that she put herself in a position to die, instead of forcing Miss Asa to overtake her in that form, when... it shouldn't have had to be Miss Asa in there with her, at all. None of it should happen, but... I think we have to grab what we can.

[haematocritical]

... if it helps you sleep at night.

[ he runs a hand through his curls, shaking them out a little agitatedly. ] I'm not sure it does any good to say "oh, it shouldn't have been this person". You're not wrong? But frankly I don't think this place cares.

[flameguard]

I don't know if anything here would, but... it's not so much about me, I guess.

[ more about erin - though... she can't really make any of those choices or decisions, now. either way. it's how he would want to go out in that situation. of his own volition. ]

And... I agree. I'm sure it doesn't. [ care. ] These kinds of things never really do. Plus... it doesn't change anything, to be wistful, or talk over regrets, or woulds or shoulds. I could have - I should have struck Miss Erin with more force, last night, but I didn't. And now we have what we have.

[ maybe a little more realistic than you might expect, that rondo of the knights ardante. he's more subdued as a whole, here, more thoughtful. ]

I just don't want to lose sight of the light. Small as it might be.

[haematocritical]

You're aware if you had, and Vin hadn't spoken up about Nona, we'd be in a worse position, right?

[ just a... simple question. to make a simple point. ]

Oh, she probably would've spoken up about her if there were no other choice. But we were cutting it close.

[flameguard]

... I think a few people were aware of Miss Nona.

[ but, he nods... looking a little more crestfallen than before. ]

I know, Mr. Astarion. I promise, I know.

[haematocritical]

Good. We’d have been a bit fucked without an alternative option.

[ ….

he still can’t wrap his head around this kind of sorrow and self-blame. stopping these rituals seems impossible at the moment, so the heroics and determination to do something about it….

it feels off. ]

Famine mentioned we always need someone to vote for at the end. Something to consider if this trend of many bodies continues.

[flameguard]

[ SOMETIMES YOU JUST WANT TO HELP PEOPLE ASTARION JEEZ ]

...I know. [ again. he seems a little bit scolded. ]

[haematocritical]

[ that sounds exhausting.

also i had to reread that tag twice because my eyes were glued shut when i was typing it last night send help. why do we need sleep. ]

…

[ ugggh. ] Stop that.