flameguard | mygod | pc catchall

[ the picture of a perfect knight. iwatooshi wouldn't know that, but i'm thinking it. ]

Still, it's good to hear. I was worried when you all came out like that.

[ our cyoaers?? ]

...If you aren't too busy.

[ who sazantos? yes 🥰

anyway no there's genuine warmth and he shakes his head. ]

I could never be too busy for you, Sir Iwatooshi.

[ never ever in a million years. he nudges the door open with his foot and steps aside to allow him to come in! there's some seating in here so he's welcome to come settle where he'd like. ]

I was just writing to Cordelia, that's all.

[ shut the fuck up lkadfjaskjdg

anyway there's some appreciation as he steps inside, carefully leaning his naginata against the wall before taking a seat with a soft sigh. his own vibes are a mix of anxiety, sadness, and resignation, but there's something warm and fond there for rondo, too. ]

Your sister? But I thought there wasn't a way to reach our homes from here.

[ his emotions are softer than usual as he talks - warm, and loving. rondo adores cordelia, and this little practice has become one of his most treasured things here, so. ]

There isn't, but... Miss Aerith suggested it to me, the very first week we were here. It helps me feel closer to her - even though she can't receive my letters, it feels like I'm getting to talk to her, especially when things are hard.

I had a lot, but... I left them to Alfyn, when... you know. [ he fuckin died. right now there's just the one on his desk, compared to the small stack he had back at the cabin.

that's mostly irrelevant, though. he comes over to sit next to him, smoothing his hands out over his thighs as he settles down. ]

I write her a lot on the day before trials. I find that it helps.

...It does sound like something she'd suggest. [ fond... the idea brings a small smile to his face. ] It's a good idea. And I'm sure that Alfyn-dono is taking good care of them for you, until you meet again.

You must miss her dearly. [ he knows the feeling - there's a little bit of melancholy, thinking of it. ] There'll be a lot for you to talk about once you see her again, won't there?

I miss her every day. We haven't seen each other in a few years, but it never gets any easier.

[ rondo loves his baby sister more than life itself. his emotions are warm and fond and soft, though... they swoop into something sadder, matching iwatooshi's melancholy with his own, and rondo looks down at his lap. ]

... Miss Kate reminds me so much of her. They're right around the same age.

I can understand that. When you love someone that much, every day apart from them hurts as much as the last.

...Then seeing her like that must hurt just as much as if Cordelia-dono were here.

You should write letters too, Sir Iwatooshi. I bet it would help.

[ help what? everything.

and... yeah. his emotions ripple outwards - soft, sad, a quiet sort of grief. ]

...yes. [ he can't imagine what he would have done, if cordelia was here. how devastated he would have been to watch her taken like that, forced to do something so cruel. it reminds him of the mall, yesterday, her soft, high pitched scream, and he shakes his head.

I cherished the time that I spent with you. Those were the moments that made me feel grateful to be alive., her letter had said. ]

The hardest part of all of this is knowing how badly that people are suffering it. She's been suffering for so long.

...Perhaps. Until now, I've settled for speaking to the piece of him that I still have.

[ but ough, these emotions. iwatooshi closes his eyes for a moment, soaking them in. he's never had family, so it's difficult to relate in that sense - but he does have imanotsurugi, and that's close enough. if he imagines ima here... he thinks he'd feel all the same that rondo does, now. ]

That she isn't even the only one still suffering bothers me still, but it is a relief that they have a chance to free her now, one way or another. She deserves that much.

[ even if it means her death. ]

[ there's a little spark of curiosity there, like he wants to know the story, but he doesn't push it for now - though he does lean over briefly to brush his shoulder against his arm, leaning in solidarity.

as for the rest... ]

... Mm. [ there's a pang in his emotions as he worries for ashlyn, and... for whomever else might have been afflicted, last night, too. as iwatooshi talks, those emotions ping back to the present, to something deeply sympathetic for someone far, far closer. ]

I... know how it feels, to be out of control of yourself. [ considering his trial. ] But... to continue to sustain it for weeks at a time - to live with it while still being yourself, I... I can't imagine the pain that you and all of the others had to go through.

[ ah, yes, the trial. iwatooshi can't hide a frown at that, disapproving of a god who would treat a loyal follower that way - but it isn't for him to judge another's world, after all. he can only consider what he knows.

his gaze falls to the floor, pensive, with a faint anger smoldering under his skin like the last surviving embers of a forge. ]

I was lucky to have been killed when I was - before I could act again. It was on my mind constantly, but I was still able to resist, after that first week. The others have had more time for the monster to grow more powerful.

My heart goes out to them for being forced to do something they never wanted - and to the others, who have to kill those of us that are affected.

[ but it must be done, in the end. ]

[ he's not wrong the gods are low key sucky sometimes and rondo would know from personal experience.

... unconsciously, feeling that anger, he scoots a little closer, leaning against iwatooshi. solid, supportive. and his emotions are as responsive as you might expect - sympathetic hurt for his suffering, a little anger with the cult, care, worry, all bundled up together in a wild tangle of human hearts. ]

Mn. [ it's so heavy that it's hard to reconcile with anything more than that - the burden of their situation. rondo's quiet for a long moment, head whirling with his thoughts. ]

At least we can support her. [ he says, eventually, quietly, turning his head to look up at iwatooshi. what goes unsaid is - we can support you, too. ] ...I don't know that I ever - really got the chance to say so, but... I'm sorry for not noticing. I know it's... not really in my control, but... still.

[ human hearts are the worst, actually, but there's a brief flicker of appreciation for rondo as he leans closer. ]

We can, and we will. [ support her, and ashlyn too, if or perhaps when they find her. he's determined to be there for them both, since he's already failed them once.

...an apology... iwatooshi's heart aches, with sympathy and love for someone who cares so deeply about others. it's a double-edged sword, isn't it? to love so much that you end up hurting, too. ]

It's alright, Rondo-dono. It wasn't your fault. Even if I was suspected, the dragon wanted to survive above all else, so it hid well. It used me. [ a little roil of guilt in his emotions that he closes his eyes against. ] It let me be myself, at just the right moments, so it could go unnoticed. The same must be true of the others, and that's why it's been allowed to go this far.

... Even if it wasn't my fault, I still want to say so.

[ to say sorry, at least. it's hard to listen to, because rondo is just so deeply empathetic - his emotions rise to match the guilt, curling into sorrow and a little frustration on iwatooshi's behalf, a deeply discomforted feeling that someone so strong, so important, so wonderful, could still be manipulated so cruelly.

he looks down at his hands again, hands curled into fists in his lap at - it used me. truly, it makes him a little sick. ]

Of everything, this feels like the cruelest part of this place, to me. The idea that people's agency is stolen from them like that. [ because it's familiar - from his trial, but from sazantos' manipulations of leblanc, of elrica. he fought side by side with the queen against someone she adored, someone who couldn't control herself, who was utilized and manipulated in her death. it's true evil, the kind of thing that sits with him so wrong, and the idea of having to continue to suffer with the monster even after everything is...

he shakes his head, a little, fists curling tighter. ] ...It's just awful.

Perhaps that's why it was so easy for to use one like me. Having the freedom to decide things for myself is still so new to me - I'm used to not having any choice. It's the nature of what I am, as a tool.

[ but he understands that isn't the case for everyone else here, so he doesn't press that point too hard. there's just some complicated feelings that come with a statement like that, a bit of confusion, a bit of melancholy and thoughtfulness. ]

But I admit that seeing it happen to the rest of you... I don't like it at all. Choosing to pick up a blade and take another's life is one thing, and I'll be the last person to judge those that do. But to be forced to kill against your will... that is wrong.

mygod | pc catchall | iwatooshi

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