flameguard | mygod | pc catchall

[ he's not wrong the gods are low key sucky sometimes and rondo would know from personal experience.

... unconsciously, feeling that anger, he scoots a little closer, leaning against iwatooshi. solid, supportive. and his emotions are as responsive as you might expect - sympathetic hurt for his suffering, a little anger with the cult, care, worry, all bundled up together in a wild tangle of human hearts. ]

Mn. [ it's so heavy that it's hard to reconcile with anything more than that - the burden of their situation. rondo's quiet for a long moment, head whirling with his thoughts. ]

At least we can support her. [ he says, eventually, quietly, turning his head to look up at iwatooshi. what goes unsaid is - we can support you, too. ] ...I don't know that I ever - really got the chance to say so, but... I'm sorry for not noticing. I know it's... not really in my control, but... still.

[ human hearts are the worst, actually, but there's a brief flicker of appreciation for rondo as he leans closer. ]

We can, and we will. [ support her, and ashlyn too, if or perhaps when they find her. he's determined to be there for them both, since he's already failed them once.

...an apology... iwatooshi's heart aches, with sympathy and love for someone who cares so deeply about others. it's a double-edged sword, isn't it? to love so much that you end up hurting, too. ]

It's alright, Rondo-dono. It wasn't your fault. Even if I was suspected, the dragon wanted to survive above all else, so it hid well. It used me. [ a little roil of guilt in his emotions that he closes his eyes against. ] It let me be myself, at just the right moments, so it could go unnoticed. The same must be true of the others, and that's why it's been allowed to go this far.

... Even if it wasn't my fault, I still want to say so.

[ to say sorry, at least. it's hard to listen to, because rondo is just so deeply empathetic - his emotions rise to match the guilt, curling into sorrow and a little frustration on iwatooshi's behalf, a deeply discomforted feeling that someone so strong, so important, so wonderful, could still be manipulated so cruelly.

he looks down at his hands again, hands curled into fists in his lap at - it used me. truly, it makes him a little sick. ]

Of everything, this feels like the cruelest part of this place, to me. The idea that people's agency is stolen from them like that. [ because it's familiar - from his trial, but from sazantos' manipulations of leblanc, of elrica. he fought side by side with the queen against someone she adored, someone who couldn't control herself, who was utilized and manipulated in her death. it's true evil, the kind of thing that sits with him so wrong, and the idea of having to continue to suffer with the monster even after everything is...

he shakes his head, a little, fists curling tighter. ] ...It's just awful.

Perhaps that's why it was so easy for to use one like me. Having the freedom to decide things for myself is still so new to me - I'm used to not having any choice. It's the nature of what I am, as a tool.

[ but he understands that isn't the case for everyone else here, so he doesn't press that point too hard. there's just some complicated feelings that come with a statement like that, a bit of confusion, a bit of melancholy and thoughtfulness. ]

But I admit that seeing it happen to the rest of you... I don't like it at all. Choosing to pick up a blade and take another's life is one thing, and I'll be the last person to judge those that do. But to be forced to kill against your will... that is wrong.

mygod | pc catchall | iwatooshi

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