flameguard | mygod | pc catchall

[whew! whew. she's coming to find him after all that, taking a seat next to him by the lake when she does.]

...Hello.

[glancing to see what his emojis are...]

[ you know when the villagers are wandering around sadly and doing the little clouds in your village

it's that. he's just sitting on the dock! his hair is down, and he's playing with the pink ribbon in between his fingers. rondo glances up when he's addressed, and gives vin a small, tired smile. ]

Good afternoon, Vin. [ ... ] It's finally out there, and... she's back. I feel relieved.

[pausing for a moment.]

Is that all you feel?

... I don't know. I feel a lot of things. But... I guess that's not that different than normal, right?

[ a little smile, with that, though he looks back out at the water. ]

It's... getting to know people's true thoughts as this has happened is helpful, I think. And - well, Miss Laudna's gotten on my nerves, for some reason, but that's all.

I wouldn't mind hearing them. The things you're feeling.

...I don't regret doing it.

[ he says, after a long moment. that's for sure. ] I still...I know we couldn't talk to her, but I wish we had, I wish... I wish a lot of things. I wish I could've done more.

[ What about the others who died?

karlach's single, stray thought affected him deeply - it was more heartbreaking than anything else, than any other reaction. ]

It would have hurt you more if you killed her and didn't bring her back, wouldn't it?

[regardless of any options they had.]

[ immediately: ]

Of course.

Then you made the right decision.

...It still just sits so poorly with me, that we had to gamble with her life.

[ and it probably always will. ]

What would have been the better option? Leaving her to kill someone else?

I know, I know... I know we did the best with what we had. And... it worked, so... that's all that really matters.

...You matter, too. And how you feel about it matters.

[You're not like me.]

[ well he whips his head up at that thought - ]

What? What you feel matters, too.

No, that's - not what I meant by that.

[ a questioning and slightly upset look...? ]

[a pause, and then:]

Assassination is on my profile for a reason. I don't think this affects me the same way it does you.

[I'm used to doing this without any way to bring them back.]

...oh.

[ ... ]

M... me too. [ to her thought, at least. he thinks, predictably, about Sir Sazantos. but the thought doesn't linger. ] In... even in this case, I followed my heart. I walked the path that I had to.

...You're not used to it the same way I am. It's alright to say that, you know.

[that he's hurting about it.]

[ ororhghg... he reaches up and scrubs a hand over his face. ]

... I know, I know. I feel as though I'm always upset about something or other, here, lately, but... it's not a bad thing. [ he's not emotionally constipated (thank god) but also. ]

I don't think Mr. Kanda's ever going to speak to me again.

There's much to be upset about.

[reaches for his hand...]

Why? What did he say to you?

[ give paw. he takes it easily, with a little squeeze. ]

Nothing. [ with a little huff of a laugh. ] He said I was too stupid to understand what his problem was.

[after a moment:]

It isn't your responsibility to make him better at talking about how he feels.

...no, I guess not.

[ it's always like this, though, isn't it? You'll never understand, Rondo. ]

You understand when it's important.

w4, tuesday

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