mygod | pc catchall | astarion

[flameguard]

the internet is rife with astarion memes

Comments

[haematocritical]

Oh? What didn't you understand?

[ sisi: I want more Astarion!
sisi:
sisi: ok maybe not! ]

[flameguard]

[ stop i love it please no one explained anything ]

...Um... all of it, honestly. What was the point...? Why was everyone freaking out about it?

[haematocritical]

[ ... ]


...

[ well, in we go. ]

How much do you know about sex, Rondo?

[flameguard]

[ HELLO THE CATHOLIC IN HIM IS SHAKING ]

That's what that was about?!

[haematocritical]

[ smiles. ]

[flameguard]

Why is everyone so obsessed with talking about this all the time!?

[haematocritical]

It's a surprisingly popular past time.

[flameguard]

Apparently....

[ why **** when you can swing a sword... ]

[haematocritical]

Do you want to know what service top means? Or would you rather remain blissfully ignorant?

[flameguard]

...can you... tell me what it implies and spare the details....?

[haematocritical]

Someone who performs the act with their partner's pleasure in mind. Normally the person who is "topping".

[flameguard]

[ okay well this was a mistake to ask about because he's turning bright red again

he just puts his hands over his face. ]


...I...see...

[haematocritical]

You did ask, my dear.

[ yay! education! ]

Every day’s a learning day.

[flameguard]

Maybe this is why I chose to be a knight instead of go to school....

[ no this is kind of a joke to deal with the crippling catholic embarrassment. mortifying! thank you. ]

[haematocritical]

They don’t teach you about this sort of thing at all in knight academy? Surprising.

[ not in this fantasy flame-christian church ]

[flameguard]

Well... I mean, the other knights talked about stuff like that a lot, at least when I was still training with the main cohort. Though - they'd never talk about it in front of the girls. But... I was never really interested.

[ it is in fact being a fantasy catholic but its also that rondo is a freak who has been focused on one (1) thing for his entire knighthood journey. knight brotherhoods are just fraternities ]

So, I usually just went to go practice my sword forms or went to bed early, instead. And - I didn't end up spending that much time in the lower cohorts, anyway, so...

[haematocritical]

[ (astarion voice) oh dear, that was the wrong sort of sword handling to practice for this sort of thing... ]

... Hmmm. To each their own, I suppose. It's not exactly a bad thing to know about all this, more for your own peace of mind than anything.

[ he waves a hand ] But, there you go. Some context to the day's events.

[flameguard]

Heh. Well - thank you, Mr. Astarion. That was embarrassing! But informative.

[ terrible. he's very genuine! sunshine. ]

There are still a lot of things in this world I don't have a lot of experience with...

[haematocritical]

[ he's a teacher now.

anyway he's blinded by the sunshine now. wow. ]

I genuinely would have thought they'd teach knights a bit more about the world at large, but hearing that's not the case explains quite a lot. About a lot of things.

[flameguard]

[ help ]

I see...

[ all knights are cool and valid. all paladins are cool and valid. ]

...well, I don't know about other kinds, but...we're knights of a Holy Order, as well. So, maybe that's why? Plus - I grew up a little differently than some of the other Knights Ardante, so...

[haematocritical]

Oh, I don't know a thing about knights where you're from. But I have heard of some truly ridiculous paladins in my time.

[ oaths sound exhausting. just get good with a knife and rely on yourself - astarion, circa 1k492 ]

Religion does seem to be a big thing though. Or some kind of faith.

[flameguard]

... right... What kind of ridiculous?

[ he will just trust astarion's lived experience on that one ]

I guess so. It's kind of nice when our worlds have things like that in common...

[haematocritical]

They make oaths for their power or something like that. If they break them then-- [ he makes a little popping motion with his hands ]-- oh dear. No more oath. No more powers. Not until you fix the oath or something like that.

Exhausting, really.

[flameguard]

...then...they shouldn't... break them?

[ spoken like a true lawful good ]

[haematocritical]

I believe they're notoriously picky. Or can seem that way. But, I'm not a paladin so I can't tell you all the details.