rondo "i can fix him" ravus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flameguard) wrote2024-06-10 03:34 pm
flameguard) wrote2024-06-10 03:34 pmmygod | pc catchall | iwatooshi
this is the single loudest pc catchall in this game
flameguard) wrote2024-06-10 03:34 pm
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sacrifice, though. he looks down at his lap. ]
... To follow the Flame requires the resolve to overcome every desire. The will to reject all else for the sake of the path you believe in.
[ the words are repeated, as if he's heard them before. ] I... can't say that something like that surprises me. What did you give up...?
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[ not blaming him, just. he had no idea that was supposed to be part of it at all. ]
On the furst floor, my sense of touch. On the second... I don't know. I can't remeowmber that, either, just that it had something to do with meowmeries. On the third floor, I saw you, and... [ he frowns and shakes his head. ] I don't know. There were two there, fur Nyasa-dono, but I only remeowmber you, for me. And I refused.
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... Not so literally. I didn't have to give up anything, it - it was just something He said to me, during my trial.
[ well. he had to give up a lot, actually, but not like this, not so literally. he hesitates for a moment, and then reaches out to gently touch his hand and squeeze it.
the fact that he can't remember who the other person is... rondo isn't sure who it could be. it does not occur to him that it must be someone who is incredibly important to iwatooshi because his self worth is in the dirt. anyway ] Don't... don't worry too much about it, right now. It could be foggy for any number of reasons.
... You refused? [ a beat. ] You... did you have to try to kill me?
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he does not react to the touch. doesn't seem to have noticed it. ]
No. I left you on the scale and mewved on. [ ... ] E-fur-dently, that door was nyalready unlocked. I just wish I'd known before Nyasa-dono made her choice.
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anyway that's... well. he ducks his head, a little. ]
...That makes a little more sense. It sounds like what happened to me. [ in his trial, after all, the correct answer had not been to kill the ringbearer chosen. it had been the commitment to his resolve not to kill someone he cared about that finally filled him with the might of the flame.
rondo briefly reaches up and touches his heart. it's still cold. it always feels cold. but... ]
The Flame responds to your will. That's what Sir Sonzon told me. So... it must have responded to yours.
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[ but anyway ]
We did have to fight, nyafter that - I didn't reclawgnize the other two. I think they were furiends of Nyasa-dono. But... [ he frowns. ] Caelus-dono was there, wielding my own nyaginata, fur some reason.
But they were corrupted, not too different from Yoshitsuneko on our furst mission. No longer human, because of something Signya did. She disappurred before I could reach her.
[ bitch!!!! ]
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anyway. corrupted... ]
... She must have taken control of them and turned them to hellfiends. [ ugh. that sits poorly with him, too - that means they had to be dead, in that moment. he also watched signa take control of elrica right in front of alaune's eyes, and that had been devastating, so he can only imagine what it was like for iwatooshi and asa, too. ]
Poor Miss Asa... I wish I could talk to her. [ weh. ] I'm glad you were able to escape that... hellfiends can be incredibly dangerous.
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[ it was upsetting, to be sure, but not something iwatooshi hasn't dealt with before. yoshitsune had been in somewhat of a similar position, after gaining power that didn't belong to humans. but poor asa... ]
I'm more worried about Nyasa-dono... She looked shaken, but we weren't affurded much time, so I couldn't really check on her. We should at least write her soon.
...I'm not sure what Camewlle-dono and Ninya-dono experienced, either. Only that they came out looking like they'd walked through fire.
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[ so. yeah. scary. ] I remember Princess Elrica had blood coming from her eyes, too. It twists them into something angry - they lose track of their humanity.
[ rondo goes back to playing with the keychain in his pocket anxiously. his heart's thudding a hundred miles an hour, considering all the awful possibilities of what camille and nina could have seen, too. ]
Of course - I'll write to her today. And... I'll ask Miss Nina once she's rested, some. I... the last thing I would ever want for her is to have to experience any of those things that I went through, or... it's the last thing I'd want for any of you.
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There was blood coming from their eyes, too, so that must have been it.
I wanted to check on Ninya-dono, too, but yes - I was letting her rest first.
I know, Rondo. [ so he pauses, debating whether he should tell rondo about the rest, but... it's his memories, so he probably deserves to. holding back has never helped the people iwatooshi loves before. ] After those trials ended... we saw Sazantos, as well. He asked us to join him.
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[ oh. so not only was it not his trial, but - a blend of his other memories, a mess of his life. he squeezes the keychain in his pocket, tightly, and tries to keep his reaction off of his face, beyond the soft sense of surprise, and the way he tenses, silences as he tries to find the right words to say.
You should join me, Rondo. ]
What... [ ... ] What happened?
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i want so badly to tell rondo how he just sloughed off sazantos' hold but iwatooshi doesn't think that's important so anyway. ]
We refused, of course. So he turned Nyasa-dono and Camewlle-dono against us to make them fight, but they escaped his hold. We defeated him together.
[ this is rondo's favorite person, apparently, so he won't say outright that iwa himself killed the man. it's an illusion, anyway, it's not like it has any bearing on the reality of rondo's situation. ]
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... it's funny, a little. he knows the context of - defeated. he knows how incredibly dangerous it would have been to leave him alive, especially in the context of these dangerous fog trips. for the first time, he does reach into his pocket and pulls out the little plush keychain, looking down on it.
this will be the third time that some version of sazantos has died here, in the village. twice by rondo's hands. once by someone else's. the third time - where the four of them must have worked together - is the one that must be the closest to reality. his heart feels heavy, and it is a long, long moment before he speaks again.
deep breath in. deep breath out. ]
... I'm glad. [ rondo is always honest. this is no exception - he lifts his gaze up to meet iwatooshi's, now, and there's resolve in his blue eyes, his voice steady. ] You all chose the right thing. He...
... I'm glad you were able to stop him, and prevent that from getting any worse. Sir Sazantos is dangerous.
[ ... ]
Can I ask you something? It's... maybe it's a little selfish, but I... I need to know.
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he's not without empathy, though. it's too much like yoshitsune's possession, the way he turned against iwa's team on that mission. that man wasn't his master (whose was he, then?), but iwatooshi still loved him. it's never easy.
so perhaps it's best to leave it at that. he bows his head in acknowledgment, not wanting draw out a conversation that may be too painful for rondo, who he's so come to treasure. ]
I've been told that a little selfishness is alright, meow and then. [ a soft smile. ] Ask me whatever you like, Rondo. I'll answer as best I can.
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he looks up at him from under his brow, almost hesitant, but - beseeching. ]
... How did he die? Did... did he say anything?
[ if rondo survives having the flame choked out of him, if he survives this place, if he returns home, this is the question that is going to haunt him forever. there is no closure for rondo and sazantos. for someone who prepared himself beyond all suffering to kill the person who matters the most to him, in the end, it will be a snuffed out light and silence. it will be rondo at home with his memories wiped, unaware of what the ringbearer chosen has to do.
so it is selfish, to ask. he knows that it's not healthy, but it's impossible just to separate himself from sazantos - and not just from him, but from his mission, too. he has the resolve to kill him. he has done it here. he could do it at home. but there's something so unbelievably cruel about not being the one, after all of that, to finally be able to end it. ]
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how did sazantos die? what did he say?
oddly, it's rondo's voice just before the final blow that he recalls first - rondo's own spurring them on, giving them strength like he was there with them. ]
...Ninya-dono's arrows made him drop Fisteralda, so Nyasa-dono took it. She went one way, I went the other. With Camewlle-dono's magic holding him in place, we had an easy opening, and I stabbed him through the heart with my blade.
[ a killing blow, one he's executed a thousand times before, and will a thousand times more, if he's able to return to his master someday. ]
The only thing he said was that he didn't want to die.
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rondo sucks in a breath. just one, sharp, and he holds it. he didn't want to die. his sir sazantos, full of so many regrets, so far gone from the flame that rondo once knew him as. he tosses and turns over his regrets for his former mentor so often - how could he not have noticed? could things have been different, if rondo had realized how badly he was hurting? if sazantos had asked for help, could he have changed it?
a wish could have saved him, but he couldn't be selfish enough to partner for someone for it. sticking to his convictions to the end, no matter what - even though the price was high. rondo didn't want him to die, either, but he has to reconcile with the fact that the person he loved died a long, long time ago.
still, there's something... it helps, to hear it. it helps to hear the full story. that he didn't suffer. that he ultimately fell to a warrior, that... maybe now, he'd be able to rest in peace. even if it wasn't real, it feels like it was, and as he exhales the slow breath out, he curls inward on himself to keep his expression mostly hidden. ]
... thank you. [ rondo says softly, just barely loud enough to be heard. ] Thank you, for telling me.
[ it does feel better, to know. he doesn't have to wonder. ]
I'm... I'm sorry, that you had to go through all of that, sir.
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None of what happened was your fault, Rondo. Camewille-dono wanted to me to tell you that there is nothing to forgive, and I agree. You never willingly would have allowed it.
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he nods to that, though. ] No - no, of course not.
[ so many things are out of their control here, after all. ]
I guess I just... hoped this wouldn't be the case, but - what matters is that you made it back. All of you did, even if it was difficult. You're all - if not okay, then... you're going to be.
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[ he looks like he kind of wishes he could draw rondo into a hug, but he wouldn't be able to feel it, and iwa doesn't want to hurt him by squeezing too hard or something. ]
...I'm sorry for worrying you.
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weh. he smiles - it's a little wet, but it's very genuine, and he shakes his head. ]
It's okay. [ ... ] How are you feeling, anyway...? Besides... you know. [ the cat puns... and the memloss.... ]
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[ lmao. at least he can see the bright side in this? ]
I feel fine. Just... a little bad for forgetting something. Caelus-dono looked upset by it.