he looks up at him from under his brow, almost hesitant, but - beseeching. ]
... How did he die? Did... did he say anything?
[ if rondo survives having the flame choked out of him, if he survives this place, if he returns home, this is the question that is going to haunt him forever. there is no closure for rondo and sazantos. for someone who prepared himself beyond all suffering to kill the person who matters the most to him, in the end, it will be a snuffed out light and silence. it will be rondo at home with his memories wiped, unaware of what the ringbearer chosen has to do.
so it is selfish, to ask. he knows that it's not healthy, but it's impossible just to separate himself from sazantos - and not just from him, but from his mission, too. he has the resolve to kill him. he has done it here. he could do it at home. but there's something so unbelievably cruel about not being the one, after all of that, to finally be able to end it. ]
[ he should have known it would be this. his heart hangs heavy in his chest at he looks down at the tabletop, at the isla keychain and a broken blade he doesn't recognize, and recalls the battle.
how did sazantos die? what did he say?
oddly, it's rondo's voice just before the final blow that he recalls first - rondo's own spurring them on, giving them strength like he was there with them. ]
...Ninya-dono's arrows made him drop Fisteralda, so Nyasa-dono took it. She went one way, I went the other. With Camewlle-dono's magic holding him in place, we had an easy opening, and I stabbed him through the heart with my blade.
[ a killing blow, one he's executed a thousand times before, and will a thousand times more, if he's able to return to his master someday. ]
The only thing he said was that he didn't want to die.
rondo sucks in a breath. just one, sharp, and he holds it. he didn't want to die. his sir sazantos, full of so many regrets, so far gone from the flame that rondo once knew him as. he tosses and turns over his regrets for his former mentor so often - how could he not have noticed? could things have been different, if rondo had realized how badly he was hurting? if sazantos had asked for help, could he have changed it?
a wish could have saved him, but he couldn't be selfish enough to partner for someone for it. sticking to his convictions to the end, no matter what - even though the price was high. rondo didn't want him to die, either, but he has to reconcile with the fact that the person he loved died a long, long time ago.
still, there's something... it helps, to hear it. it helps to hear the full story. that he didn't suffer. that he ultimately fell to a warrior, that... maybe now, he'd be able to rest in peace. even if it wasn't real, it feels like it was, and as he exhales the slow breath out, he curls inward on himself to keep his expression mostly hidden. ]
... thank you. [ rondo says softly, just barely loud enough to be heard. ] Thank you, for telling me.
[ it does feel better, to know. he doesn't have to wonder. ]
I'm... I'm sorry, that you had to go through all of that, sir.
[ it hurts to see his reaction. but his kindness can't be selfish anymore - and rondo deserved to know. so he only nods closing his eyes for just a moment to be respectful. ]
None of what happened was your fault, Rondo. Camewille-dono wanted to me to tell you that there is nothing to forgive, and I agree. You never willingly would have allowed it.
[ it hurts, but it hurts good. iwatooshi did the right thing.
he nods to that, though. ] No - no, of course not.
[ so many things are out of their control here, after all. ]
I guess I just... hoped this wouldn't be the case, but - what matters is that you made it back. All of you did, even if it was difficult. You're all - if not okay, then... you're going to be.
We did, and we're healed. I heard the same for the others, as well. The effects may last a few days, if past examples hold true, but we'll be alright.
[ he looks like he kind of wishes he could draw rondo into a hug, but he wouldn't be able to feel it, and iwa doesn't want to hurt him by squeezing too hard or something. ]
no subject
he looks up at him from under his brow, almost hesitant, but - beseeching. ]
... How did he die? Did... did he say anything?
[ if rondo survives having the flame choked out of him, if he survives this place, if he returns home, this is the question that is going to haunt him forever. there is no closure for rondo and sazantos. for someone who prepared himself beyond all suffering to kill the person who matters the most to him, in the end, it will be a snuffed out light and silence. it will be rondo at home with his memories wiped, unaware of what the ringbearer chosen has to do.
so it is selfish, to ask. he knows that it's not healthy, but it's impossible just to separate himself from sazantos - and not just from him, but from his mission, too. he has the resolve to kill him. he has done it here. he could do it at home. but there's something so unbelievably cruel about not being the one, after all of that, to finally be able to end it. ]
no subject
how did sazantos die? what did he say?
oddly, it's rondo's voice just before the final blow that he recalls first - rondo's own spurring them on, giving them strength like he was there with them. ]
...Ninya-dono's arrows made him drop Fisteralda, so Nyasa-dono took it. She went one way, I went the other. With Camewlle-dono's magic holding him in place, we had an easy opening, and I stabbed him through the heart with my blade.
[ a killing blow, one he's executed a thousand times before, and will a thousand times more, if he's able to return to his master someday. ]
The only thing he said was that he didn't want to die.
no subject
rondo sucks in a breath. just one, sharp, and he holds it. he didn't want to die. his sir sazantos, full of so many regrets, so far gone from the flame that rondo once knew him as. he tosses and turns over his regrets for his former mentor so often - how could he not have noticed? could things have been different, if rondo had realized how badly he was hurting? if sazantos had asked for help, could he have changed it?
a wish could have saved him, but he couldn't be selfish enough to partner for someone for it. sticking to his convictions to the end, no matter what - even though the price was high. rondo didn't want him to die, either, but he has to reconcile with the fact that the person he loved died a long, long time ago.
still, there's something... it helps, to hear it. it helps to hear the full story. that he didn't suffer. that he ultimately fell to a warrior, that... maybe now, he'd be able to rest in peace. even if it wasn't real, it feels like it was, and as he exhales the slow breath out, he curls inward on himself to keep his expression mostly hidden. ]
... thank you. [ rondo says softly, just barely loud enough to be heard. ] Thank you, for telling me.
[ it does feel better, to know. he doesn't have to wonder. ]
I'm... I'm sorry, that you had to go through all of that, sir.
no subject
None of what happened was your fault, Rondo. Camewille-dono wanted to me to tell you that there is nothing to forgive, and I agree. You never willingly would have allowed it.
no subject
he nods to that, though. ] No - no, of course not.
[ so many things are out of their control here, after all. ]
I guess I just... hoped this wouldn't be the case, but - what matters is that you made it back. All of you did, even if it was difficult. You're all - if not okay, then... you're going to be.
no subject
[ he looks like he kind of wishes he could draw rondo into a hug, but he wouldn't be able to feel it, and iwa doesn't want to hurt him by squeezing too hard or something. ]
...I'm sorry for worrying you.
no subject
weh. he smiles - it's a little wet, but it's very genuine, and he shakes his head. ]
It's okay. [ ... ] How are you feeling, anyway...? Besides... you know. [ the cat puns... and the memloss.... ]
no subject
[ lmao. at least he can see the bright side in this? ]
I feel fine. Just... a little bad for forgetting something. Caelus-dono looked upset by it.