[ shakes in memshare week cyoa. shakes. anyway we're in the void. ashlyn might notice that the shadowy place they've suddenly entered feels - hot. hot, and humid, and awful, and then... ]
[ after your induction into the guardians of light - hasty as it was - you join the others as they make their battle plans to march on the gates of hell. between your research with king solon and the willpower of the other guardians, preparations are being made for a confrontation of a lifetime, and you feel a little out of place.
everyone here is powerful - a king, a lord, the very ringbearer chosen themselves - and they control armies, countries and politics. this is the kind of thing that sazantos would have handled, where you would stand dutifully by his side and listen, wanting to help and soaking up what you could learn, but...
... but sazantos is your enemy, now. he lounges in hell with the forces of the undead gathering under his influence and might. you haven't gotten to confront him, not yet - you only know now what queen alaune has told you, that he intends to use her older sister, the princess elrica who was executed by her cruel tyrant father, against all of them. alaune tells you all that she wants to go to hell to confront them herself, because she is brave and admirable, and the ripple of shock that moves through the room is heard by everyone, perhaps no louder than richard, stunned at her side.
immediately, you feel moved, moved by the sense of duty and purpose you always feel, and you bow, one hand to your heart, and ask alaune and the ringbearer chosen if you might join them. you know the two of you could protect the queen, and...
... and you need to go to hell, too. you need to see sazantos for yourself.
you need to ask him why.
the queen accepts your offer with warmth as always, and to the background noise of shades of the walking dead approaching the castle in droves, the three of you descend into hell through the portal. ]
--
[ hell is - not what you're expecting.
it's gloomy and dark and miserable, and the oppressive power of pure evil seems to lurk around every corner. you find yourself standing in a near exact replica of the castle of edoras, and though alaune swallows nervously in front of you, she is strong, her shoulders squared backwards: the ringbearer chosen's lantern shines with a safe, warm blue glow like the sacred flame itself, and it soothes all three of you as you begin to navigate your way through the endlessly labyrinthine tunnels of this alternate castle.
you are accosted by shades and spirits of monsters nearly every third step, but you and the ringbearer chosen are both strong and capable, and you slash them back, keeping the queen safe as you guard her journey towards her sister. each monster is twisted beyond belief - some are humanoid, flesh melting from their bones and eye sockets, creatures of rage and despair, and others are just monsters, multi-eyed beings that spit black magic and acid, all designed to torment, to kill, to cause despair. it feels like you wander for days, down plush red carpets and past structures of horrible black crystal and roots, digging up into the castle's surface like claws. the entire time, your heart pounds with purpose and necessity, and though you aren't afraid, the further you get into the castle, the further a gut feeling of dread starts to build.
your gut feelings are usually accurate, and this is no exception. when you round a corner into a hallway, now cleared of monsters, there's a burst of black, accursed flame, and walking out of its embers is none other than sazantos.
your heart stops.
sazantos looks so different than you last saw him. your last memory of the former flameguard was him leaving flamesgrace to head to the isle of orsa - white cloak, silver armor, brilliantly blue eyes, long silver hair braided with a red ribbon that you feel like you've stared at a thousand times. a man you have seen in reality, in your dreams, someone who you have spent nearly every waking moment of your life following, chasing, striving for.
here, sazantos wears black armor, his face covered in a mask - his silver hair tucked into the back of the armor, too. the accursed flame nearly oozes off of him, roiling with purple and black and pink, the same sight the two of you once fought off in berecain.
it is in this moment that you realize that everything that you have so fervently hoped was false is a reality, and the sight of him breaks your heart into a thousand pieces.
you can't help yourself. you rush forward, ahead of alaune and the ringbearer, and his name escapes you in a rush - ] Sir Sazantos...!
there was a bunch of extra meta that i took out for your reading purposes but here's one last bit.)
... sazantos looks at you again, and you swear you can see his eyes behind that mask, their bright blue that you fell in love with a decade ago. and then he chuckles, and his mouth turns up in an odd smile. he walks closer to you. he holds out his hands to you. he faces you.
"...You should join us, Rondo." he says, "The dark flame awaits you."
it knocks you for a loop. you stare at him, stunned, and then your feet start moving before you can even stop yourself - not sure if you're going to throw yourself into his arms or tackle him - but before you make it three steps, he's gone. you scream his name and rush after him, but the accursed flame only leaves behind sparks.
and as sazantos vanishes, your knees give out, and you collapse to the ground, staring at the space where your future used to be. ]
[ somehow... watching this memory is even worse. rondo exhales as its over, a whoosh of air, staring into the space of the silent, terrible void. just like back then.
...but... like back then, there's a friend standing nearby, too. ashlyn's question comes soft in his ears, and rondo turns his head, snapping out of whatever his last thoughts were, and then huffs softly, a humorless noise. ]
...No. He rarely ever did. [ answer rondo's questions. he always had him seek answers himself. for better, or for worse.
he's quiet, for a long moment. now that some time has passed from this encounter, as little as it has been... ] I... I don't think it was a lie. That was long before his encounter with the Accursed Flame - I was only thirteen.
I think that's part of why it... why it's so hard to reconcile. I saw him save so many people's lives, when we were together. Not just mine. He did so much good.
Something like that. The Accursed Flame is the source of all cruelty and darkness - it's a product of a dark god. [ you know like the one the cult is summoning. good times!
rondo chews on his lip, for a moment, thinking. ] ...I think he was always... I think he must have felt that way for a long time, and maybe... our encounter with Lyblac, the daughter of the Dark God might have been what tipped him over the edge. But I think that maybe...
[ ... ]
... I think that person, and the person who saved me - I think they existed at the same time. I don't know if people are necessarily always bad, and always good. At least... that's a lesson I had to learn. But I just... I wonder if he lost sight of the good. To be the Flameguard is not an easy job.
...I... would have helped. If I had known. [ rondo's voice cracks. ] I would have helped him. [ or he would have tried, at least. if sazantos had let him in, rondo would have given him the entire world. ]
it's the hard truth, but. it is in fact the truth. yeah. it's. it's his failing, though it's so hard even now to think about anything sazantos could possibly do as a failing. rondo rubs his eyes, sucks in a breath. don't cry.
oh, this is... a lot. the monsters - phantoms - are familiar, and he can feel it with ashlyn as her stress rises, as the responsiblity drapes onto her shoulders, and then...
...as her friends come to support her, rondo exhales. by the end of the memory, he's got a hand resting on his heart, because he is sappy, but also... ]
... Miss Ashlyn... what a wonderful group of comrades you have.
They care a lot about you. [ hehehe ] It's really clear to see. I'm glad.
[ it's so nice... ashlyn deserves all the nicest friends in the entire world, but... when the initial glow of it subsides, his usual smile does soften a little into curiosity. ] Was that recent...?
We got the jeep, like we wanted. It felt like a good thing. Even with Aiden's ankle sprained and my concussion it meant we could go out further than the graveyard, but...
[ her face sort of scrunches up. ]
Maybe we shouldn't have. Maybe they were right about just staying where we were.
You can't have known what was going to happen before it even began. [ just like with him with sazantos. can't read the future. can't tell when things are going to go wrong. with a little dread: ] I... take it it wasn't a good thing.
[ he scoots a little bit closer to ashlyn, physical support. ]
I'm sorry that you're faced with such difficult challenges, Miss Ashlyn. [ quiet and genuine as always. ] I think... no matter what choices we make, we'll always find ourselves wondering what could have happened if we went the other way.
I'm the leader. I'm the one making the calls. So if it goes badly, I have to take responsibility for it.
But you're right. In the end what's happened has happened and it won't help us to linger on it too much. We just have to keep dealing with whatever the new situation is.
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flameguard) wrote2024-06-08 02:06 pm
w2, monday
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all she can really think to say is: ]
He didn't answer your question.
[ about whether or not it was all an act. ]
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...but... like back then, there's a friend standing nearby, too. ashlyn's question comes soft in his ears, and rondo turns his head, snapping out of whatever his last thoughts were, and then huffs softly, a humorless noise. ]
...No. He rarely ever did. [ answer rondo's questions. he always had him seek answers himself. for better, or for worse.
he's quiet, for a long moment. now that some time has passed from this encounter, as little as it has been... ] I... I don't think it was a lie. That was long before his encounter with the Accursed Flame - I was only thirteen.
I think that's part of why it... why it's so hard to reconcile. I saw him save so many people's lives, when we were together. Not just mine. He did so much good.
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[ hrm. ]
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rondo chews on his lip, for a moment, thinking. ] ...I think he was always... I think he must have felt that way for a long time, and maybe... our encounter with Lyblac, the daughter of the Dark God might have been what tipped him over the edge. But I think that maybe...
[ ... ]
... I think that person, and the person who saved me - I think they existed at the same time. I don't know if people are necessarily always bad, and always good. At least... that's a lesson I had to learn. But I just... I wonder if he lost sight of the good. To be the Flameguard is not an easy job.
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So he was a better person and then just... changed.
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[ it's complicated. he reaches up after a moment and rubs his hand over his eyes. ]
I wish I knew he was in so much pain. I... it never even occurred to me. I was foolish.
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he opens his mouth, then closes it. ]
...well...
[ i could have learned to read him better. he thinks. i could have paid more attention. ]
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...I... would have helped. If I had known. [ rondo's voice cracks. ] I would have helped him. [ or he would have tried, at least. if sazantos had let him in, rondo would have given him the entire world. ]
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That's why it's his failing.
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it's the hard truth, but. it is in fact the truth. yeah. it's. it's his failing, though it's so hard even now to think about anything sazantos could possibly do as a failing. rondo rubs his eyes, sucks in a breath. don't cry.
also give me a memshare back :catgun: ]
... I guess so.
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he gets a memory of an argument. as a side note, from now on and forever, rondo will see ashlyn's shadow as having short hair like so! neat. ]
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oh.
oh, this is... a lot. the monsters - phantoms - are familiar, and he can feel it with ashlyn as her stress rises, as the responsiblity drapes onto her shoulders, and then...
...as her friends come to support her, rondo exhales. by the end of the memory, he's got a hand resting on his heart, because he is sappy, but also... ]
... Miss Ashlyn... what a wonderful group of comrades you have.
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They're okay. [ she loves them shut up about it. ]
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They care a lot about you. [ hehehe ] It's really clear to see. I'm glad.
[ it's so nice... ashlyn deserves all the nicest friends in the entire world, but... when the initial glow of it subsides, his usual smile does soften a little into curiosity. ] Was that recent...?
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Feels like a long time ago, but technically it was... Pretty recent. A couple months ago, maybe.
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his eyes flick briefly to her braids...long... and then back up. ]
What happened after...?
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We got the jeep, like we wanted. It felt like a good thing. Even with Aiden's ankle sprained and my concussion it meant we could go out further than the graveyard, but...
[ her face sort of scrunches up. ]
Maybe we shouldn't have. Maybe they were right about just staying where we were.
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You can't have known what was going to happen before it even began. [ just like with him with sazantos. can't read the future. can't tell when things are going to go wrong. with a little dread: ] I... take it it wasn't a good thing.
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I don't know. Just sitting around and waiting it out every night doesn't seem right either, but...
Things only ever get worse.
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I'm sorry that you're faced with such difficult challenges, Miss Ashlyn. [ quiet and genuine as always. ] I think... no matter what choices we make, we'll always find ourselves wondering what could have happened if we went the other way.
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But you're right. In the end what's happened has happened and it won't help us to linger on it too much. We just have to keep dealing with whatever the new situation is.