kill log: w3 thursday

[flameguard]

ethical murder (free range)

Comments

[flameguard]

[ he can't look, and maybe that's more cowardly than anything.

holding camille tightly, rondo can feel the way her hand comes up to the injury. he can feel her struggling, squirming, every single motion, and he holds on anyway, strong enough to make sure she doesn't make it worse, she doesn't draw it out, to keep her from flailing free in her desperate struggle for life, and he trembles with every passing second that the life leaves her body but never falters, never lets go. ]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[ in hell, last week - the hot, awful manor, the house of hope and the room with the pool, he'd killed sazantos. the move then was accidental, and it wasn't him - in fact, it was only successful, because it wasn't him - but the carnage was the same. the gore. the blood. the betrayed eyes. the voiceless mouth. you did this. you did this. it doesn't matter that it's temporary. it doesn't matter, that it was to kill a monster that wasn't even camille. it doesn't matter that she killed cloud. it doesn't matter that they'll be able to - that she'll be able to come back. that they're going to make sure she gets to come right back.

it doesn't make it any easier. it doesn't make it any less horrifying. rondo's crying before he even realizes it, holding onto the glass so tightly that he'd cut himself if he wasn't wearing gloves, and he takes a deep, shaking, shuddering breath as he just. sits there for a second, holding camille in his arms and just quietly repeating - i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.

(Oh, kid. You're a mess.)

there's still more to be done: they have to get the rest of the plan finished. maybe this is the moment most where he needs that adult. ]

[halved]

[...

slowly, she rises to her feet and makes her way over to the discarded cup. takes the spilled decanter, too, while she's at it and wipes some of the spilled wine away. it's a bit of a juggling game between her hand and the crook of her elbow, but she somehow manages to do it with minimal effort. it's good to have take care of simple tasks like these. it's good to shove the horror of camille's gasping and flailing deep, deep down because there's still work to do. besides, everybody dies some day.

their heart was in the right place. she was miserable. the monster could have forced her hand again. there's a multitude of reasons they decided to go through with this plan, and not all of them are due to the sudden confidence boost from the week.

so... so...]

Rondo. [quietly. camille is still in his arms. she doesn't turn to look at him.] We have to go.