[ iwatooshi's thought - sharp as the edge of a naginata - breaks through his own thought process, through the faded sense memory of the flame choked from his body, as the pain of it ripples away. he's relived this memory too many times, but it never gets any easier to experience, and so often he finds himself staring down sazantos, so desperately trying to make him understand, so desperately trying to do what's right.
but that thought shakes him out of it. some part of him still wants to push against it, the idea that really it's the other way around, that rondo barely deserves sazantos, but... is it still like that, anymore? it's really only in moving here, in talking to people like iwatooshi, that he's really begun to consider that as the truth.
as he talks, rondo reorients himself, still holding the naginata, his fingers flexing again, opening and closing, opening and closing. he doesn't have answers, either, but...
you're not alone, rondo. it is in moments like these, under iwatooshi's tutelage, that he truly, really believes them, and he takes in a deep, wet breath. ]
...I'm really, really glad that we're together again. [ the words are sticky, vulnerable, but so, so honest. iwatooshi has such a way with words, such a way with everything, and his counsel and his presence are so desperately, dearly important to him that he doesn't think he can properly express it in return. like sazantos all over again, but every word is so precious and so kind that it's overwhelming. he swallows, hard, and murmurs: ] ... Thank you.
[ he smiles, though there is a bit of sadness to it. rondo really has been through so much in so little time, hasn’t he? iwatooshi dearly wishes he could make any of this easier on him, somehow, but the most he can really do is offer a few words of reassurance. it isn’t enough; it’ll never be enough, with lives on the line like this. ]
I’m glad to be together again, too - more than I could say.
[ though he still wishes it were under different circumstances. ]
no subject
but that thought shakes him out of it. some part of him still wants to push against it, the idea that really it's the other way around, that rondo barely deserves sazantos, but... is it still like that, anymore? it's really only in moving here, in talking to people like iwatooshi, that he's really begun to consider that as the truth.
as he talks, rondo reorients himself, still holding the naginata, his fingers flexing again, opening and closing, opening and closing. he doesn't have answers, either, but...
you're not alone, rondo. it is in moments like these, under iwatooshi's tutelage, that he truly, really believes them, and he takes in a deep, wet breath. ]
...I'm really, really glad that we're together again. [ the words are sticky, vulnerable, but so, so honest. iwatooshi has such a way with words, such a way with everything, and his counsel and his presence are so desperately, dearly important to him that he doesn't think he can properly express it in return. like sazantos all over again, but every word is so precious and so kind that it's overwhelming. he swallows, hard, and murmurs: ] ... Thank you.
[ Thank you. ]
no subject
[ he smiles, though there is a bit of sadness to it. rondo really has been through so much in so little time, hasn’t he? iwatooshi dearly wishes he could make any of this easier on him, somehow, but the most he can really do is offer a few words of reassurance. it isn’t enough; it’ll never be enough, with lives on the line like this. ]
I’m glad to be together again, too - more than I could say.
[ though he still wishes it were under different circumstances. ]