[ uweh. it's affection week - so, when he sits down, he leans over a little, almost seeking the contact. ]
Not my captain... the Flameguard before me. My mentor. [ he looks up, towards sazantos, like he could see the person that iwatooshi mentions, too. ] Is that your captain, too...?
[ oh what a question. a lump rises in his throat, and he swallows it. ]
Every single day.
[ can you miss someone who's not fully gone? it's hard to say. he looks up again, up to where he can still see the hallucination, staring down, imperious and ominous. he has to take a deep breath to keep from crying again, trying to tune out whatever he's saying and focusing on iwatooshi instead, strong and steady. ]
[ oh, just immediately, he leans into it, melting into the hold like he's needing the affection. it's so nice to have something, someone, to lean on. a person that's reliable and kind and stalwart.
rondo laughs a little, himself. tiny, a little sad. ]
...I've never actually seen Sir Sazantos laugh. [ as he's looking up. ] I don't think I've ever seen him smile, either. It's... a little strange.
He is strong. Stronger than anyone I've ever met. [ that part comes immediate - that's rondo's first instinct, his first thought about sazantos. how does he even describe him, after everything?
... the words come easier than he thinks they're going to, really. ] He had the purest, most azure flame you could ever imagine - it was just dazzling. He's fearsome, and noble, and... and he's beautiful, too. Like an angel that came straight down from the heavens.
[ hah. well. he smiles a little at that, though it's lacking all of his usual shine. he also doesn't extrapolate any further on meeting him. ]
It's... no, not quite. The Flame was a gift from the gods to humanity, a long time ago - it represents the light and the warmth of humankind. It is powerful like magic, but... it's - well, it's Sacred. Embers of it can be carried in a sacred device called the Lanthorn, but... the only person who is deemed worthy enough to actually wield the Flame itself is the Flameguard.
It's either that you pass a trial, or... that you're born with it, that the gods choose you. That's... what happened to Sir Sazantos. [ he trails off a little, here, voice softening - the smile fades, and he shakes his head. ]
[ he listens in faithful silence. the phantoms continue to mock him as if it's their duty, but he ignores them, attention fully on rondo and his story. ]
...And you weren't?
[ chosen by the gods. his voice softens, just a bit. ]
he leans a little heavier into iwatooshi, almost instinctually seeking it out, and closes his eyes. at first, all he can really do is nod, swallowing a lump in his throat. Pathetic. the voice says. yes, he didn't get his flame by birth. yes, it has something to do with the sword. fisteralda hangs heavy at his side, the weight too strong, lit by two flames over one. ]
... Sir Sazantos is... [ - While you waste your life away here, what do you think must be happening in Orsterra?
...
rondo swallows. ]
He no longer walks the path of the Flame. He... betrayed all of us. [ and unspoken, there, layered under the thin vulnerability of rondo's voice - he betrayed me. ] I... I was fighting him, just before I came here. Trying to stop him from destroying the entire world.
[ iwatooshi reflexively tightens his hold, gently rubbing a circle on rondo's shoulder. ]
...So that's it.
[ his heart sinks. no wonder rondo is so shaken, then, to see this man before him. ]
Having to fight someone you hold dear... it's never an easy thing to do, no matter how lofty their goals may be. I'm sorry that you've had to experience it yourself, Rondo-dono. Do you bear this burden alone?
he shakes his head again, at first to the idea of the apology. it's a burden to bear, but it is his, he starts to say, and then - well, it's not just his, so. he rubs his eyes and shakes his head again. ]
No... no. There are eight - seven of us, I... joined them, in Sir Sazantos' place. [ before he went all traitor. ] They're all wonderful comrades to fight beside, but I... none of them know him the way that I do. Knew him.
[ that, at least, brings a smile to iwatooshi’s face. ]
Then I’m glad you aren’t fighting alone.
But I understand the burden of having to fight someone you hold dear. I had to fight my former master once, too. It makes you the best suited to defeat them, but it doesn’t save you the pain, does it?
[ there's a headshake, and rondo falls quiet for a long, long moment. best suited... maybe. he has to be, right? that's his job, as the flameguard. to vanquish evil. he won't shy away from it, but... ]
...What happened, when you had to? [ fight your former master. there's a little vulnerability to the way he asks, raw. ]
I defeated him in battle, when the time came. But when I went to take his life, my blade wouldn't land. [ a soft smile. ] I couldn't bring myself to kill him, as he told me to. Maybe if things were different - if he'd fought me like he meant it, I could have given him the end that he deserved, with all of my respect.
But my precious friend, Imanotsurugi... As much as he struggled with the idea of fighting his own master, he managed to do what even I couldn't when he saw that Yoshitsune-kou had gone too far. You remind me of him in some ways, Rondo-dono. So I believe that you'll do what needs to be done, when the time comes. And when it does, your friends will be there to support you.
[ it's... touching to be compared to someone like that, someone so precious. rondo thinks about that, and holds iwatooshi's kindness earlier in the day close to his chest. it matters, to him, makes him feel warm and valued, makes him feel like he can be worthy of the heavy title on his shoulders.
unconsciously, he scoots a little closer to him, pressing his shoulder in like he can be bolstering, too. ]
... thank you, Sir Iwatooshi. [ it's soft, not awed necessarily, but certainly hallowed. ]
I... don't think there's any shame in that, either. [ in not being able to give him that end. ] I don't think there's anything wrong with caring about someone so much.
[ he simply nods and holds rondo a little tighter. as long as he needs, iwatooshi will stay here with him. even if he can’t help with the burden rondo carries, the least he can do is offer reassurance while they’re here. ]
…Our mission is our mission. [ softly, almost resigned. they each have their duty, his own team and rondo’s. ] That matters more than our feelings when the fate of the world and its history could be at stake.
[ he looks down at rondo for a moment before just. leaning his head against his. It isn’t reassuring, perhaps, but it is what it is. ]
It isn’t shameful to care. But sometimes we have to set that aside to do what’s right, no matter how much it hurts us.
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Not my captain... the Flameguard before me. My mentor. [ he looks up, towards sazantos, like he could see the person that iwatooshi mentions, too. ] Is that your captain, too...?
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[ a faint smile as rondo leans against him, touch welcome ]
He was captain, on our last mission. He's since left the citadel, at least for a little while.
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Every single day.
[ can you miss someone who's not fully gone? it's hard to say. he looks up again, up to where he can still see the hallucination, staring down, imperious and ominous. he has to take a deep breath to keep from crying again, trying to tune out whatever he's saying and focusing on iwatooshi instead, strong and steady. ]
... Do you miss him, too...?
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[ echoes the sentiment, as he shifts to place an arm around rondo's shoulders. ]
It's nice to see him, and hear him laugh. But it isn't the same as being there with them.
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rondo laughs a little, himself. tiny, a little sad. ]
...I've never actually seen Sir Sazantos laugh. [ as he's looking up. ] I don't think I've ever seen him smile, either. It's... a little strange.
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What is he like? Will you tell me about him?
[ the unspoken question: what do you miss about him? ]
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... the words come easier than he thinks they're going to, really. ] He had the purest, most azure flame you could ever imagine - it was just dazzling. He's fearsome, and noble, and... and he's beautiful, too. Like an angel that came straight down from the heavens.
no subject
This flame... Is it a type of magic, then?
[ and what do you mean "had." ]
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It's... no, not quite. The Flame was a gift from the gods to humanity, a long time ago - it represents the light and the warmth of humankind. It is powerful like magic, but... it's - well, it's Sacred. Embers of it can be carried in a sacred device called the Lanthorn, but... the only person who is deemed worthy enough to actually wield the Flame itself is the Flameguard.
[ fire etc. ]
It's either that you pass a trial, or... that you're born with it, that the gods choose you. That's... what happened to Sir Sazantos. [ he trails off a little, here, voice softening - the smile fades, and he shakes his head. ]
no subject
...And you weren't?
[ chosen by the gods. his voice softens, just a bit. ]
Does this have something to do with your sword?
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he leans a little heavier into iwatooshi, almost instinctually seeking it out, and closes his eyes. at first, all he can really do is nod, swallowing a lump in his throat. Pathetic. the voice says. yes, he didn't get his flame by birth. yes, it has something to do with the sword. fisteralda hangs heavy at his side, the weight too strong, lit by two flames over one. ]
... Sir Sazantos is... [ - While you waste your life away here, what do you think must be happening in Orsterra?
...
rondo swallows. ]
He no longer walks the path of the Flame. He... betrayed all of us. [ and unspoken, there, layered under the thin vulnerability of rondo's voice - he betrayed me. ] I... I was fighting him, just before I came here. Trying to stop him from destroying the entire world.
no subject
...So that's it.
[ his heart sinks. no wonder rondo is so shaken, then, to see this man before him. ]
Having to fight someone you hold dear... it's never an easy thing to do, no matter how lofty their goals may be. I'm sorry that you've had to experience it yourself, Rondo-dono. Do you bear this burden alone?
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he shakes his head again, at first to the idea of the apology. it's a burden to bear, but it is his, he starts to say, and then - well, it's not just his, so. he rubs his eyes and shakes his head again. ]
No... no. There are eight - seven of us, I... joined them, in Sir Sazantos' place. [ before he went all traitor. ] They're all wonderful comrades to fight beside, but I... none of them know him the way that I do. Knew him.
no subject
Then I’m glad you aren’t fighting alone.
But I understand the burden of having to fight someone you hold dear. I had to fight my former master once, too. It makes you the best suited to defeat them, but it doesn’t save you the pain, does it?
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...What happened, when you had to? [ fight your former master. there's a little vulnerability to the way he asks, raw. ]
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I defeated him in battle, when the time came. But when I went to take his life, my blade wouldn't land. [ a soft smile. ] I couldn't bring myself to kill him, as he told me to. Maybe if things were different - if he'd fought me like he meant it, I could have given him the end that he deserved, with all of my respect.
But my precious friend, Imanotsurugi... As much as he struggled with the idea of fighting his own master, he managed to do what even I couldn't when he saw that Yoshitsune-kou had gone too far. You remind me of him in some ways, Rondo-dono. So I believe that you'll do what needs to be done, when the time comes. And when it does, your friends will be there to support you.
no subject
unconsciously, he scoots a little closer to him, pressing his shoulder in like he can be bolstering, too. ]
... thank you, Sir Iwatooshi. [ it's soft, not awed necessarily, but certainly hallowed. ]
I... don't think there's any shame in that, either. [ in not being able to give him that end. ] I don't think there's anything wrong with caring about someone so much.
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…Our mission is our mission. [ softly, almost resigned. they each have their duty, his own team and rondo’s. ] That matters more than our feelings when the fate of the world and its history could be at stake.
[ he looks down at rondo for a moment before just. leaning his head against his. It isn’t reassuring, perhaps, but it is what it is. ]
It isn’t shameful to care. But sometimes we have to set that aside to do what’s right, no matter how much it hurts us.