her hands flutter a little bit to find his face, holding it very gently as she kind of straightens herself up to stand a little more on her own two feet. the squeeze is warm, perfect, and she hesitates a little before letting her hands drag downwards to rest on his chest, gently skimming over the emblem pinned to him. ]
... It suits you.
[ she knows, that this sort of thing must hurt, that finding something that's such a sharp reminder after everything they'd been through the previous weeks, after seeing him again like that, the way this place tends to use their minds against them. she wishes she could bite down on it and tear it away.
but this? this could be a gift, it could be something to start to pick apart the knot of emotion that sits at the very center of him. she tilts her head a little bit. ]
You wear it beautifully, you know... I... I think ultimately, it's something to be proud of. To show how far you've come. You're deserving of that after all your hardship, darling...
weh. he leans a little into the hands on his face, like a puppy as you might expect - seeking out affection and attention, and puffing up a little bit as she settles them down on his chest, instead. the sacred flame emblem is shiny and new, a sacred piece of recognition and a memento of a mentor now lost, for many, many reasons. ]
... thank you.
[ he doesn't argue it - he just accepts it, this time. somewhere in his thudding heart there's a maelstrom of feelings about being the flameguard. about not deserving it, about how he lost the flame itself, about sazantos and a bitter, painful separation, but putting on a uniform that was clearly, clearly made for him has given him a little bit more hope. his own weaknesses have come to the forefront in this place in ugly, terrible ways, but rondo has the strength to carry on, the support and love of others to bolster him forward as a light.
his head tilts naturally down to meet her gaze, cheeks a little pink, swelling with emotion. for a moment, he's at a loss for words. ]
It's... [ deserving is hard to accept, but, he'll try. ] I'll try to wear it with all the honor of the position. And... if things here work out, I... if they do nominate me to take it, then, I will accept. I would end up taking the position likely upon my arrival.
[ ultimately, all of those bittersweet feelings of grief come down to the same feeling that rondo will hold onto when his memories are wiped away. i can't remember who he was, but i want to be someone that he could be proud of. ]
... Thank you, Marina. [ again, softly, genuinely. ] I don't know if you know how thankful I am for you.
[ to accept what we deserve is complicated, and marina knows that it's more nuanced than that. she knows that he's struggling with it, having it thrust into his face over and over again, like being ground into the dirt. ]
Things will work out.
[ she has to say it like she means it, has to say it with a smile she doesn't quite feel is right. but they will work out because they must, because people have to go home, because people have more to live for than for the whims of some idiot cultists who decided they could simply bring them here against their will and take them on a happy monster joyride.
they've had so much help and they've come so far... it's only a matter of time now. as he speaks about taking up the position, she nods quietly, knows that as he says that, there's part of him still lingering. ]
I should say the same... you have seen some very ugly parts of me.
[ squeezing gently as she lets her hands trail down to find his, to take them in her own and look down at them. ]
And I know that... this is a difficult mantle to don, but the fact that you have already says quite a lot about the man that you are and the man that you will become. You have a soul that's like a beacon. If I could read your palms, I think that they would tell me that your path is one full of light and full of love... that people will remember you as someone who has lit the way that was once dark for them.
[ does she speak from experience? perhaps. a small smile on her lips. ]
I know... that I will certainly carry your light in my heart. I know that it's not going to go out any time soon, even after...
it's - it's just a very violent, very sudden reminder of the week that they shared memories. marina's visceral, awful pain as she was scorched, her desperation in trying to cast off the shackles of a body that was not her own. twisted and gnarled beyond repair, in a horrible village with a horrible festival.
it is in this moment that he realizes the absoluteness of goodbye. the few days they have remaining are just that - days. barely a week, until either the cult conducts its ritual (though rondo thinks they will fail, his optimism bolstered by the strength of his companions) or until they break free of this place, and return to their homes. what awaits rondo is a world without sir sazantos, a world where the other guardians may have even forgotten him, a world where he -- well. he thinks he'd be dead, but someone else has saved his life with a selfless wish barely a few days ago, so, they may think he's dead, but his flame will continue to flicker onwards. and marina...
for all of her kind words, for how important these things are to him, how much he treasures what she is telling him and how they ring truer than endorsements from many, even over his insecurities, there's something else roiling in his emotions. a lingering sense of urgency, realization - the slightest sense of something afraid.
and then, in true rondo fashion, holding her hands like that, he blurts out - ]
[ it takes her a while to find the right words, to let them leave her, because this feels like it culminates to something, it feels like something new and something strange and something possibly sweet and she's not sure if this is a thing she could deserve in any way. what has she done but die and die again? and die some more?
he holds her hands, and he can probably feel them shake, just a little bit. ]
What's that mean exactly?
[ her voice is soft, meaningful, because... why assume? why not hear it from him himself. ]
[ when he feels her hands shaking, he immediately squeezes them, bolstering. his first act as flameguard, or perhaps, the kind of thing he'd do all along. both are driven by his big, pure heart, his instinct to protect the people that he cares for, to protect as many people as he can. ]
I mean...
[ a moment's pause, as he reconciles with what he blurted out. what does he mean? it's not long. just a second or two of hesitation, and then - once again, in true rondo fashion, commitment. follow your heart. so long as you do, you will walk with the flame.
he thinks about a reflected surface on a pond, last week, about a sight that had been a little embarrassing, but one that lingered in his heart even after. about how he's thought about how much cordelia would like marina - even if they don't see each other that often. about how her studies of magic could be so easily furthered with a place like the academy of atlasdam, a place they have a long running friendship with. about all the resources that could be at her fingertips, about - about a life, a life she deserves, a life she should get to have in her body, her own way, and not back in that monstrous, awful village.
he exhales, and any doubt melts away, replaced with a steady emotional sureness. yes. yes, he knows exactly what he means.
rondo looks her in the eyes, and his emotions are as steadfast and sure as they could possibly be. ]
... I mean, so long as it's possible, I would like to extend you the offer to come to Orsterra, instead of go back.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
flameguard) wrote2024-06-10 03:29 pm
no subject
her hands flutter a little bit to find his face, holding it very gently as she kind of straightens herself up to stand a little more on her own two feet. the squeeze is warm, perfect, and she hesitates a little before letting her hands drag downwards to rest on his chest, gently skimming over the emblem pinned to him. ]
... It suits you.
[ she knows, that this sort of thing must hurt, that finding something that's such a sharp reminder after everything they'd been through the previous weeks, after seeing him again like that, the way this place tends to use their minds against them. she wishes she could bite down on it and tear it away.
but this? this could be a gift, it could be something to start to pick apart the knot of emotion that sits at the very center of him. she tilts her head a little bit. ]
You wear it beautifully, you know... I... I think ultimately, it's something to be proud of. To show how far you've come. You're deserving of that after all your hardship, darling...
no subject
weh. he leans a little into the hands on his face, like a puppy as you might expect - seeking out affection and attention, and puffing up a little bit as she settles them down on his chest, instead. the sacred flame emblem is shiny and new, a sacred piece of recognition and a memento of a mentor now lost, for many, many reasons. ]
... thank you.
[ he doesn't argue it - he just accepts it, this time. somewhere in his thudding heart there's a maelstrom of feelings about being the flameguard. about not deserving it, about how he lost the flame itself, about sazantos and a bitter, painful separation, but putting on a uniform that was clearly, clearly made for him has given him a little bit more hope. his own weaknesses have come to the forefront in this place in ugly, terrible ways, but rondo has the strength to carry on, the support and love of others to bolster him forward as a light.
his head tilts naturally down to meet her gaze, cheeks a little pink, swelling with emotion. for a moment, he's at a loss for words. ]
It's... [ deserving is hard to accept, but, he'll try. ] I'll try to wear it with all the honor of the position. And... if things here work out, I... if they do nominate me to take it, then, I will accept. I would end up taking the position likely upon my arrival.
[ ultimately, all of those bittersweet feelings of grief come down to the same feeling that rondo will hold onto when his memories are wiped away. i can't remember who he was, but i want to be someone that he could be proud of. ]
... Thank you, Marina. [ again, softly, genuinely. ] I don't know if you know how thankful I am for you.
no subject
Things will work out.
[ she has to say it like she means it, has to say it with a smile she doesn't quite feel is right. but they will work out because they must, because people have to go home, because people have more to live for than for the whims of some idiot cultists who decided they could simply bring them here against their will and take them on a happy monster joyride.
they've had so much help and they've come so far... it's only a matter of time now. as he speaks about taking up the position, she nods quietly, knows that as he says that, there's part of him still lingering. ]
I should say the same... you have seen some very ugly parts of me.
[ squeezing gently as she lets her hands trail down to find his, to take them in her own and look down at them. ]
And I know that... this is a difficult mantle to don, but the fact that you have already says quite a lot about the man that you are and the man that you will become. You have a soul that's like a beacon. If I could read your palms, I think that they would tell me that your path is one full of light and full of love... that people will remember you as someone who has lit the way that was once dark for them.
[ does she speak from experience? perhaps. a small smile on her lips. ]
I know... that I will certainly carry your light in my heart. I know that it's not going to go out any time soon, even after...
no subject
even after.
it's - it's just a very violent, very sudden reminder of the week that they shared memories. marina's visceral, awful pain as she was scorched, her desperation in trying to cast off the shackles of a body that was not her own. twisted and gnarled beyond repair, in a horrible village with a horrible festival.
it is in this moment that he realizes the absoluteness of goodbye. the few days they have remaining are just that - days. barely a week, until either the cult conducts its ritual (though rondo thinks they will fail, his optimism bolstered by the strength of his companions) or until they break free of this place, and return to their homes. what awaits rondo is a world without sir sazantos, a world where the other guardians may have even forgotten him, a world where he -- well. he thinks he'd be dead, but someone else has saved his life with a selfless wish barely a few days ago, so, they may think he's dead, but his flame will continue to flicker onwards. and marina...
for all of her kind words, for how important these things are to him, how much he treasures what she is telling him and how they ring truer than endorsements from many, even over his insecurities, there's something else roiling in his emotions. a lingering sense of urgency, realization - the slightest sense of something afraid.
and then, in true rondo fashion, holding her hands like that, he blurts out - ]
What if you didn't go back?
no subject
he holds her hands, and he can probably feel them shake, just a little bit. ]
What's that mean exactly?
[ her voice is soft, meaningful, because... why assume? why not hear it from him himself. ]
... Rondo.
no subject
I mean...
[ a moment's pause, as he reconciles with what he blurted out. what does he mean? it's not long. just a second or two of hesitation, and then - once again, in true rondo fashion, commitment. follow your heart. so long as you do, you will walk with the flame.
he thinks about a reflected surface on a pond, last week, about a sight that had been a little embarrassing, but one that lingered in his heart even after. about how he's thought about how much cordelia would like marina - even if they don't see each other that often. about how her studies of magic could be so easily furthered with a place like the academy of atlasdam, a place they have a long running friendship with. about all the resources that could be at her fingertips, about - about a life, a life she deserves, a life she should get to have in her body, her own way, and not back in that monstrous, awful village.
he exhales, and any doubt melts away, replaced with a steady emotional sureness. yes. yes, he knows exactly what he means.
rondo looks her in the eyes, and his emotions are as steadfast and sure as they could possibly be. ]
... I mean, so long as it's possible, I would like to extend you the offer to come to Orsterra, instead of go back.
[ a pause. ]
... To come back with me.