flameguard | mygod | pc catchall

[ we're in the void!

vin might feel the way the world suddenly feels hot, sticky and miserable - like she's standing in the depths of hell. and funnily enough... ]

[ after your induction into the guardians of light - hasty as it was - you join the others as they make their battle plans to march on the gates of hell. between your research with king solon and the willpower of the other guardians, preparations are being made for a confrontation of a lifetime, and you feel a little out of place.

everyone here is powerful - a king, a lord, the very ringbearer chosen themselves - and they control armies, countries and politics. this is the kind of thing that sazantos would have handled, where you would stand dutifully by his side and listen, wanting to help and soaking up what you could learn, but...

... but sazantos is your enemy, now. he lounges in hell with the forces of the undead gathering under his influence and might. you haven't gotten to confront him, not yet - you only know now what queen alaune has told you, that he intends to use her older sister, the princess elrica who was executed by her cruel tyrant father, against all of them. alaune tells you all that she wants to go to hell to confront them herself, because she is brave and admirable, and the ripple of shock that moves through the room is heard by everyone, perhaps no louder than richard, stunned at her side.

immediately, you feel moved, moved by the sense of duty and purpose you always feel, and you bow, one hand to your heart, and ask alaune and the ringbearer chosen if you might join them. you know the two of you could protect the queen, and...

... and you need to go to hell, too. you need to see sazantos for yourself.

you need to ask him why.

the queen accepts your offer with warmth as always, and to the background noise of shades of the walking dead approaching the castle in droves, the three of you descend into hell through the portal. ]

--

[ hell is - not what you're expecting.

it's gloomy and dark and miserable, and the oppressive power of pure evil seems to lurk around every corner. you find yourself standing in a near exact replica of the castle of edoras, and though alaune swallows nervously in front of you, she is strong, her shoulders squared backwards: the ringbearer chosen's lantern shines with a safe, warm blue glow like the sacred flame itself, and it soothes all three of you as you begin to navigate your way through the endlessly labyrinthine tunnels of this alternate castle.

you are accosted by shades and spirits of monsters nearly every third step, but you and the ringbearer chosen are both strong and capable, and you slash them back, keeping the queen safe as you guard her journey towards her sister. each monster is twisted beyond belief - some are humanoid, flesh melting from their bones and eye sockets, creatures of rage and despair, and others are just monsters, multi-eyed beings that spit black magic and acid, all designed to torment, to kill, to cause despair. it feels like you wander for days, down plush red carpets and past structures of horrible black crystal and roots, digging up into the castle's surface like claws. the entire time, your heart pounds with purpose and necessity, and though you aren't afraid, the further you get into the castle, the further a gut feeling of dread starts to build.

your gut feelings are usually accurate, and this is no exception. when you round a corner into a hallway, now cleared of monsters, there's a burst of black, accursed flame, and walking out of its embers is none other than sazantos.

your heart stops.

sazantos looks so different than you last saw him. your last memory of the former flameguard was him leaving flamesgrace to head to the isle of orsa - white cloak, silver armor, brilliantly blue eyes, long silver hair braided with a red ribbon that you feel like you've stared at a thousand times. a man you have seen in reality, in your dreams, someone who you have spent nearly every waking moment of your life following, chasing, striving for.

here, sazantos wears black armor, his face covered in a mask - his silver hair tucked into the back of the armor, too. the accursed flame nearly oozes off of him, roiling with purple and black and pink, the same sight the two of you once fought off in berecain.

it is in this moment that you realize that everything that you have so fervently hoped was false is a reality, and the sight of him breaks your heart into a thousand pieces.

you can't help yourself. you rush forward, ahead of alaune and the ringbearer, and his name escapes you in a rush - ] Sir Sazantos...!

(to 33:14. skippable, text below matches! )

[ sazantos regards you for a moment, and then walks away from you - he is always walking away - but you hesitate, because you know how he is and it's just like in training, that surely he will respond if you give him a moment. and sure enough, he speaks after you follow him, your gaze stuck to his back. isn't it always?

"I must say. I hadn't expected to behold your foolish face even here, at the very end of the world." sazantos says, almost wry. he turns to you, holds out his hands, as if beckoning you to attack him or run to his arms - mockingly. "Have you improved at all in the time we've been apart, Rondo?"

the way his voice smooths out the syllables of your name is so familiar that your heart aches, because it used to draw you in like a moth to the flame. you have hung on his every word for almost ten years now, and you you taste something bitter and miserable in the back of your throat as you regard him.

you suck in a breath, force the lump in your throat down. you should answer the question, but you - you can't, you can't address that, you don't care if you've improved or not, because the only thing that matters is the secondary reason you came down here, what you've wanted since you joined the guardians, since you heard the news of sazantos' betrayal in the first place. your hands curl into fists at your side, trembling. ] Why...

[ and you run to him, closer to him, facing him one to one. your voice breaks with your anger and your despair and confusion and loss and hurt. your heartbreak, as you finally get your chance to confront him. your composure shatters and you shout, desperate - ] Why are you doing this?!

[ because that's what you've wanted to know from the start.

his hands drop back down to his side, and sazantos shakes his head, says your name again. "Rondo."

the timber of his tone is familiar - he's already dismissing you. "You cannot hope to understand."

(but you want to. you've always wanted to. you want to understand everything about sazantos. you want to know him, want to understand him, and he's never once let you in.)

he turns, folding his arms, and for a brief, terrifying moment, you think he's going to disappear again. "No...no. No one can."

but that's not true. can't you understand him? would he ever let you? why won't he ever let you try?

you want to run to him and shake him, impulsively, want to wrap your arms around his shoulders and shake the truth into him, that you want to understand him that you love him that he is your everything - but you don't. you suck in a breath, and drop your hands to your side, curling them into tight, shaking fists.

sazantos explains to you what pushed him over the edge. he says he never knew if human lives had any value or not - which stuns you - until ceraphina and lyblac, who showed him how greedy and desiring human beings were. how every single one of them deserved to perish, because they destroyed the world around them, based on those desires. that all human beings were evil. that they all deserved death.

you almost can't believe the words coming out of his mouth.

this is sazantos, after all. the flameguard. the brilliant, protective force who cared for the continent, who has saved so, so many lives. it's dissonant, it's wrong. after everything you've seen him do, you feel like you have to defend him from himself, from this insanity, from this darkness that's taken him over that just can't be him. you can't reconcile it. and as always, passionate and impulsive, you can't help yourself, throwing out your arm with the force of your denial - like you could reach out and wrench him back from this cliff he's standing on yourself. ] No! You're wrong - humans aren't all evil!

[ your voice starts to break - your vision blurs with tears, but you barely even notice as you take another step forward, throwing your arms out, and your words pick up volume. you're shouting, now, echoing through the voluminous hallways of the castle in hell, your desperation and despair as you try to make him understand wild and untamed.

(you don't realize it, but you've started crying.) ] You saved me and my sister, didn't you?! You risked your life for us without a second thought! That's why I looked up to you - why I wanted to be like you!

[ because you remember his back then, too.

you were thirteen years old when the bandits attacked ravus manor - when heathcote was gone. they ransacked the entire place. killed every attendant, every maid, even your swordfighting coach. they discussed you and your sister - how they'd hold you for ransom, kidnap you.

you remember how you were shaking, but you remember how you promised your sister you'd protect her. you remember lifting your sword. you remember the bandit sneering at you and your trembling hands. you remember not being afraid. you remember thinking i'll protect you i'll protect you i'll protect you and you remember -

you remember sazantos. you remember staring up at his back, at his silvery hair, strong and proud. you remember his ethereal presence, like he'd come down from the heavens themselves, out of nowhere. you remember his voice, ringing out like a shot in the middle of the night. "Come, my Flame, and engulf all who oppose me!"

you remember the blue, blue azure flame that came from his sword. you remember how with strength, grace, and beauty, he vanquished the bandits. you remember how you think you might have fallen in love with him.

you remember, more than anything, the way he looked at you, shaking in your fancy clothes but no less brave, and the approval in his voice, as he said, soft and low, "Boy... you've got the makings of the Flame, in you."

--

your last word rings out, and the heat goes out of your voice as you run out of air.

you stare at his back, again, always staring at his back, and you ask, tiny and hollow with the horror of realization. ] ... Are you saying that was all some sort of act?

[ sazantos finally turns to you again. he regards you, for a long moment.

"Well, Rondo..."

and then sazantos summons the accursed flame. it's ominous and dark black in his hands - its wrong, its so wrong, and he tells you that maybe you should ask the sacred flame that you love, instead of giving you an answer. the sacred flame that he taught you to follow.

you don't understand. you want to understand him. you want to know what happened, you want to understand why he fell to this depth, you want to know you want to understand him help him you want to know you want to be there for him, you have always wanted -

sazantos looks at you again, and you swear you can see his eyes behind that mask, their burning, pure azure blue. and then he chuckles, and his mouth turns up in an odd smile. he walks closer to you. he holds out his hands to you. he faces you.

"...You should join us, Rondo." he says, "The dark flame awaits you."

it knocks you for a loop. you stare at him, stunned, and then your feet start moving before you can even stop yourself - not sure if you're going to throw yourself into his arms or tackle him - but before you make it three steps, he's gone. you scream his name and rush after him, but the accursed flame only leaves behind sparks.

and as sazantos vanishes, your knees give out, and you collapse to the ground, staring at the space where your future used to be. ]

[this isn't the first time today this has happened to her - being thrown into another person's life in a personal moment like this. she takes a moment to grapple with it; the pain of broken trust, the desire to be acknowledged by someone you care so much for. kelsier could be cruel, but this...

she's silent for a moment, looking to gauge his reaction, before:]

...Did you ever see him again?

[ mentors! haha yeah!!

rondo's just kind of looking off into the space where sazantos disappeared from when he's startled by vin speaking - he looks to the side, and then. huffs a little bit of a laugh. for once, his expression is a little hard to read. something sad. something hurt. something almost, quietly nostalgic. ]

...Yes. We had to stop him, or he would have destroyed the entire world.

[she hesitates for another moment.]

...Is he dead?

[ very, very quietly: ]

...I don't know.

Work in progress...?

[vin]

[ well see, he could answer that question. but the void flickers, purplish-pink-black, and then -- ]

[ When you finally defeat him, he looks less weakened than any of you would like.

Sazantos pushes back from the fight. Signa, the priestess who has served at his side in hell, exhausted and bleeding behind him, on the ground, looks up at him with big, soft eyes, but you barely pay attention. You're exhausted - breathing hard, you wipe your mouth and you shore up with your sword again, ready to finish him off. You're not afraid. You will do what has to be done. You have to. You -

Sazantos lifts his hands, and a flame - black, ominous, horrifying, a barrier not to cross - suddenly appears in front of you. You and the rest of the group leap backwards, you at the forefront, and you realize a second too late that Signa is talking.

a video link - 1:44 to 1:47. (CW for suicide: skippable if you need to!)

Signa's sacrifice grants Sazantos what he needs. Hell rumbles with the weight of Orsa's rebirth.

Sazantos turns his attention to the group. He looks over, and suddenly, you find that your vision has been completely overcome with black flame, and in the blink of an eye you've been transported, dragged forcibly over to Sazantos' side - a place where once, you would have always run. Your danger senses flare and you grab your sword out of sheer instinct, but it's too late, he's already struck forward. Your swords clash, violently, but after the fight, it's enough to send you to your knees.

He mocks you, at first - his laugh is cruel. "Do you see how I didn't yell 'Prepare yourself?'"

You get up. You draw your sword, legs shaking, heart pounding with adrenaline. You'll fight him again, a thousand times, the blue flame coursing through your veins as strong and true as your blood. Before you can even move, though, Sazantos raises his hands: black magic sweeps around your body and grips you around the throat, sending you straight into the air and your sword clanging to the ground.

You reach upwards, grasping at your throat, at nothing, struggling as he starts to choke the life out of you with the Accursed Flame - you desperately, desperately fight it, start trying to kick your legs, start gasping his name, this isn't fair, this isn't - "Sir - Sir Saza..."

It can't end like this. It can't, It can't end like this. The flame in you fights back, but you're powerless. Sazantos hums. "That flame of yours... it's not bad."

(That flame that you earned. That you've used to fight him. Your soul. Your guardian. Your everything. Your duty. The power you wanted to use to help others.)

"But you haven't fully mastered it yet." You can't breathe, you can't breathe, Sir Sazantos, no, no - "Allow me to take it from you.

Come to me."

And then - everything in your body erupts in pain. You can feel it - violating, awful, the Accursed Flame invading your veins and your heart and your soul and wrapping its tendrils around your fire, the Sacred Flame that you protected, and the pain is so bad that you think you're going to die -- you scream in agony, as your soul, the Sacred Flame, is ripped from your body.

The last sensation you remember before your body slams into the ground is how cold you feel.

And then, there's nothing. ]

[hello!!

she freezes for a moment, looking towards him for an explanation.]

[ rondo's hand has flown up to his throat, almost out of sheer instinct - when he realizes the memory's over, he sucks in a breath, realizes there's oxygen in his lungs, forces himself to remember to breathe. it takes him a full moment to realize vin is looking at him, questioning.

... and, shakily: ]

... That's the last thing I remember. I woke up here.

...Then you'll wake up when you return.

[stubbornly.]

[ will there even be an orsterra to wake up to? that scares him. he doesn't let himself linger on the thought, and the hand at his throat comes down slowly to rest over his heart. it's so cold. he feels so cold, and watching this happen again was such a reminder of what he had. what he lost. what hangs now in the sword at his waist. locked away.

... ]

I hope so. [ rondo says, quietly. he doesn't want to die. and more than that, he doesn't... ] I... Alfyn is... from the future - from our future. And Orsterra yet stands. So perhaps... the others are able to stop him, after all.

[ as for rondo, though. who knows? he doesn't know if he survived. he thinks he did. he's here, after all. that means something, doesn't it? ]

They must have been. Sometimes... It's more simple than you would think to stop someone like—

[thematic, because another memory is starting.]

[ very, very thematic.

rondo's on the edge of his seat for this one - vin might feel him flinch when she's hurt, might feel the way he gasps, when she realizes how to stop him, and by the end of it, he's almost vibrating. the melancholy of his own memory is, for the moment, lost.

he turns his head to look at her, stunned and - awed? amazed. like this is my doki icon but i don't have a better icon for the level of impressed and amazed he is at the moment at vin's strength, at the line, too. he is hope. ]

... Vin, that was incredible.

[pinches his cheeks!!! me not her

despite this very sweet sentiment, she looks a little bit uncomfortable to hear it, to see the look on his face. regardless of that, though:]

...Thank you.

[ oh... well, listen, he's not dumb (okay he's kind of dumb), but, the dorky excitement does soften a little at the look on her face. ]

It was really quick thinking. [ but he's still complimentary because. he's rondo. ] This is what happened after your mentor passed, right...?

Shortly after that, yes.

[pausing for a moment as the excitement fades from his face, but:]

You haven't done anything wrong. It's only that—

[she could explain but i'm taking a page from your book it's follow up time]

[ ...oh.

that -

he gets that, too. that sense of pressure. it clicks immediately. what a giant hole that kelsier left behind for vin to step into. he's heartened, in a sense, immediately, when he remembers that ouija board, and unthinkingly, he reaches out and sets a hand on her shoulder and gives it a squeeze. ]

...What a tremendous burden to carry, Vin. You bear so many.

[she's silent for a moment, accepting the hand on her shoulder, before:]

Some people can bear it easily.

[it's so clear, the memory of how easily kelsier could move through a crowd - he was just a person, she knows, but his words made people stop and listen. he took care never to seem uncertain or scared. if he showed anger, it was to inspire people to the same. but for a girl raised on the streets whose existence was quite literally illegal, taught to avoid attention and notice at any cost... the attention pushes against every instinct she's cultivated through her life, not to mention the expectations that she can't meet.]

I understand why they're reaching for what makes them feel safe. They're scared.

[but she's scared, too, even if she hates to admit it.]

[ she's literally just a girl, you guys.... she's just a girl.....

this is a little scary, because - well, he knows what pressure can do to someone, too. he thinks of the strange manifestations of sazantos' life they found in hell. the description of the endless struggle against the cruelty of humanity - how being the flameguard means that the continent relies on you, how thankless, painful, and brutal it can be to see the scourge of humanity, over and over, and over. how heavy that can be.

he squeezes again, expression dropping to vin's. ]

... That's true. But... them feeling that way doesn't change the fact that it's scary for you, too.

...I told someone recently that the king can't hold the city against those armies, even with my help. They told me if that were the case, then I should just leave - to either fully commit to believing in our chances, or give up entirely. But all my friends are there. Everyone I love.

[...]

We're going to be taken over, I think. But I don't know what else to do but stay. And the way they look at me, the way they talk about me, even the king... I'm not a hero, or a miracle worker.

[ he's quiet, for a moment, taking that in, brows knit together in concern, and worry. ]

... But... now you won't have to be alone to figure it out. [ not with that ouija board, tucked in somewhere safe. ] Right?

Yes.

[and there's a little bit of a smile - even if they fail, she'll have him back.]

I just have to live long enough to see him again.

[ points my gun at you ]

I believe in your ability to do that. [ wholeheartedly, and with a smile. ]

[:thinking:]

...Yours, as well.

mygod | pc catchall | vin

week 2, monday

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